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I started writing this several hours ago, it's now 5 to midnight and all I've managed to achieve is the quote. This
week has been eventful and thought provoking in many ways not least because as ever, my friends seem to remain as
predictable as ever, reassuring in some ways, disturbing in others.
The bad news of the week is that I returned to the shops with avengance buying several albums and singles, which no
doubt many of the readers of this site will find offensive. But I needed something trashy to help me get through some
of the work around at the moment so enter Aqua's "Cartoon Heroes", All Saints "On the Beach" and the old Vengaboys
album - he he it was only a matter of time. If you needed any reassurance I also bought Savage Garden, Five and Tom
Jones... maybe that didn't help.
Today however I'm pleased with myself - the plan of "doing stuff" continues and although I didn't make it to Neil's
birthday thing yesterday I did get to see "Gods and Monsters" at the Duke of Yorks today which proved to be well worth
waiting for. Tommy, Louise, Jimi, Phil, Richard and Jon - I know you had you reasons but you missed one cracking film.
That sounds so upbeat doesn't it? The film is actually quite sad in parts, comic in others but comes across thought
provoking and poignant. But it has been one of those weeks for that really, and it's where this weeks quote has come
from. Walking back from the cinema and these lyrics from Evita kept going over in my head... In many ways this week has
been sad, saying goodbye to a close member of the family, realising there are some things I have no control over which makes
me feel helpless and coming to the realisation that some people just don't give a flying f**k about working together who
just care about themselves. Then I look round and see some of the people that count me amongst their friends and I smile
because then I realise the other things don't matter.
Lyrics of the moment:
The past 24 hours have been really strange - saying I've been a bit tense is an understatement with everything
that's been going on. I keep saying I wish one part of my life would just sort itself out for long enough but it
just never happens does it? I seem to be working myself up one thing after another without getting back to a
sense of normality, and I thought I had managed to kick that particular habit. As ever I'm taking things to heart
and relate them to me rather than just accept them for what they are and last night has to be an all time record for
that.
Life does have it's downs and ups - I suppose I'm a bit worried for a couple of my friends as well and it does not
help that I feel more than a little useless in what I can do to help them at the moment. And the job's not going
brilliantly at the moment. I'm trying to work out what I'm good at and what I enjoy doing and then focus around that,
but it's just not happening. People just won't stay still long enough!! Although I admit if I actually got to work
on a project for long enough at the moment it would probably be just that much better. Contractural wrangles, late nights,
too much work and a general couldn't give a f**k attitude amongst some people just aren't helping. Ooh the wonderful
world of commercialism for you ;-)
Talking of which I've been thinking about the whole house buying thing again and I think it's formly back on the
agenda and with a couple of quieter weeks ahead (he said foolishly) I might get a chance to actually see the people
who pull the purse strings. The thought has crossed my mind a couple of times that maybe somewhere that isn't in
Brighton or London would be a good option.. hmmm.. see what my end of the month review has in store before progressing
that one I think.
Lyrics of the moment:
It's been another one of those weeks and I think it's pretty fair to say that not a lot has gone well this week.
The product I've spent the last five months working on developing concepts and strategy wasn't fully functional in
time for it's launch, the only reason we've made so much progress is because Sara is an absolute star. But the whole
thing wasn't helped by me going sick yesterday and it looks like I'm going to have to miss the remainder of the
conference as a result - I can see that making me popular back at work. Nuff said that this isn't making working life
especially enjoyable for me at the moment and with a six-month review on the horizon I think an assessment of options is
in order.
Still collectively worried about a number of friends, semi-friends and situations that they and I seem to be getting
ourselves into at the moment. Not sure whether it's us being stupid, naive or just hypnotised but I wish we could get
off of our respective rides, I don't like where they are headed.
Lyrics of the moment:
"But when you act the things you do effect us all.
But when you act you take us away from the squalor of the real world.
Are you hear on your own?
Yes, oh yes.
So am I - what a fortunate coincidence. Maybe your my reward for my efforts here tonight.."
Various "Evita Soundtrack" (1996)
"I'm moving I'm coming
Can you hear what I hear?
It's calling you my dear (out of reach)
Take me to my place
I can hear it calling you
I'm coming, not drowning
Swimming closer to you."
All Saints "Pure Shores" (2000)
"When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore."
Savage Garden "Crash and Burn" (1999)
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