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Sunday 24th December 2000, 1.35am
There's something connected with these diary entries and me feeling low or negative. Maybe just by getting them out of my head is the positive thing I need to get out of it all.
Realistically in life I've got a bloody good lot and if anything the problem is I don't play it well. A new job that's going well - and if it wasn't there's been four people knocking at my door with other offers, financially about to become sorted, feeling happier physically and mentally than I've felt in months (years?).
I would be tempted to say the only missing piece is someone special, but we've all been there and I know full-well they will make an appearance in their own good time. Guess it's that whole Christmas and New Year being close to someone thing. And it's not like there's been any shining incidents of that by people I know recently.
I guess what I want is more chances, more opportunities, more "go and try to make this work", that's the way I work and where I do my best. Yet I still feel like some people don't really take me seriously… and who can blame them since it wasn't that many hours ago I was bouncing around a high street at the prospect of it being this close to Christmas (and no alcohol wasn't a factor). I'm still missing that partner in crime and work - and realistically never finding that person at TMP was one of my biggest problems working there (after the fact I was treated like shit of course).
The lyrics were going to be from Fame but that would have seen more self-indulgent and people wouldn't have thought about what the lyrics of the moment really are about. But let's face it with the amount of times I've played Westlife since I got home they are "of the moment".
It's about making that impression, reaching for the sky, baby remember my name.
Lyrics of the moment:
"As I walk this land of broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But hapiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's just departed
I know I've got to find some peace of mind."
Westlife "What becomes of the broken hearted" (2000)
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